This should be alright.
And then, like this, huh?
What?
Boss, Boss.
Yeah... I'm at a difficult part now...
Could you call out to Muraki-san?
Why? Doesn't it look like he's enjoying his nap?
It's a punishment for napping in the afternoon.
You know, he started working here under the condition that
he could sleep just as much as he likes when we're not busy.
If it wasn't for this,
there's no way he'd accept this tedious work for such a small salary
without any complaint.
Whatever, whatever, just wake him.
Hey, Muraki!
Yes... Yes!
What's this?
Super-appealing!
I'm working at a Bunny Girls' Pup tonight.
Boss, how about you?
I'm fine, thanks.
Why? I'm sure you'd be cute.
As expected, so cute! Lemme take a pic with my phone. (TN: 'shame' literally means "a picture sent by email")
Come here please.
Geez.
So cute!
You look like a friendly apparition.
What apparition?
Please do some pose.
So cute!
Now please come a bit closer.
Cute!
Oh, let's stick the tail on, too.
What?
Please turn around.
So cute. Lemme take this.
Okay.
Do you have a request for us?
I saw the 'detective agency' signboard and...
River's Edge, Ookawabata Detective Agency
Original Work: "River's Edge, Ookawabata Tantei-sha" Author: Hijikita Yuho / Art: Tanaka Akio ("Shukan Manga Goraku" serialized by Nihonbungeisha)
Opening Song: [Neon Sign Stomp] by EGO-WRAPPIN'
'Muraki' ODAGIRI JOE
'Director' ISHIBASHI RENJI
'Megumi' KOIZUMI MAYA
RYU SUWARU
Music: MORI MASAKI [Ego-Wrappin']
Cinematography: MIYAMOTO WATARU Lighting: TOMIKAWA HIDENOBU
Subtitles by arakira @d-addicts
QC / Styling: earthcolors
Special thanks: micehell / furransu
Content Producer: GOKA KIMITAKA Producers: ASANO DAI / SUGIHARA NAMI
Chief Producer: NAKAGAWA JUNPEI
Director: ONE HITOSHI
File 0.1.: Scary Face Grand Prix
Well, we were just rehearsing for a party sketch...
So, what is your request?
Let me ask you frankly,
what do you think about me?
What do you mean, what?
Your first impression of me.
First impression?
Even if you put it like this...
My face is scary, right?
It's scary, right?
Well, no... but...
one can tell that you're an honest and respectable person.
You're not like the Yakuza who use
their menacing looks to threaten people.
Excuse me, but what is your profession?
To be honest, I run a traditional bakery.
A bakery?!
I've also got a wife and 5 daughters.
Even 5?
Please continue.
Ever since I was a child this face of mine meant trouble.
In kindergarden, they called me Son of the Devil.
My nickname in grade school was Gargoyle.
In middle school, even though I was nothing like a delinquent,
I was made out to be their leader.
When I was about to enter high school, top brass Yakuza and gang leaders
came to school in order to scout me.
As an adult I got questioned by the police on a daily basis.
Getting ordered around to show what's in my bag
or to show my passport.
It also happened that a young policeman suddenly pointed his gun at me.
Nowadays, digital cameras have this face recognition function, but
they never recognise my face at all.
Nevertheless, I was going to live diligently
by doing what I love, selling the bread I made
I'm also confident about the taste, and yet
hardly any customers come into the store.
Why would that be?
Just the other day, there was a group of young mothers in front of the store.
It's really tasty.
But you know... the owner's face...
Right. If you think about it, bread made by that face...
That's too mean.
Right, doesn't he resemble those...
you know, from the Middle East, what do you call them?
What was it, ter... ter.. terro...
Terrorist!
A terrorist bakery!
Can you believe that? A terrorist bakery?!
That's good!
Not a good joke.
No matter how dark my face is,
to call me a terrorist!?
That's rude to terrorists, too.
Well...you see...
how to put this... they must have been joking... but...
nowadays women make fun of everything.
Of course,
I do know that they didn't do it with a bad intention.
It's just,
when I think about my wife and daughters,
it breaks my heart.
If only I didn't have such an unappealing face,
So, what can we do for you?
The Scary Face Contest.
Scary Face Contest?
I heard a rumour about it.
People who take pride in their scary faces gather
and have a tournament to pick the scariest face.
Never heard about something like this.
No, me neither.
But why would you be looking for this tournament?
Not long ago, I went for a shrine visit to Senso-ji.
And there it flashed up like a revelation.
Since I can't do anything about being born with this scary face
I'll just give up on the bakery
and go for some business where my face will be an asset.
With my character I can't be a Yakuza or the like, so
I'll make it big at the Scary Face Grand Prix.
This face...
that everybody gets scared off, it'll be better to
change my profession to something where it'll be useful.
He really had an amazing face.
Yeah, and quite some story to tell.
But looking at his face it was indeed a persuasive story.
Megumi-chan?
I'm not really sure.
But to be frank, if he runs a bakery with this face,
I wouldn't go in to buy something.
So a man really is all about his face.
If pushed I'd say that I'm not the type
who's attracted by physical looks only, but
in the end, the first impression is what counts.
Don't they say people are 90% about appearance.
Well we also can't be smug about ours.
First impression I mean.
That's true.
We don't exactly blend in well with the general public.
Me too?
At least you don't look like a young lady from a good family, do you?
That's mean.
I might look like a bitch, but (TN: *When you have a certain image of a person, then surprisingly s/he acts totally different and you find this cute/attractive)
you know, there's still 'gap-moe'.* (TN: *When you have a certain image of a person, then surprisingly s/he acts totally different and you find this cute/attractive)
For example, looking at me you'd think I'm a bitch,
but if you tried going out with me you might find I'm good at cooking,
that housework is my forte or that I only wear white underwear.
Not sure about this last 'only white' example, but
I think I know what you mean.
When I first saw this guy,
honestly, I was really frightened.
But while listening to his story, somehow ...
I was moved by him.
So what do you want to do?
Should we do some research on this Scary Face Grand Prix?
But if he took part in something like this,
would anything change?
That I don't know.
But...well...
Maybe there's something like a life
that fits the visuals that
we were born with.
That's a surprise.
Well you unexpectedly said something normal...
You, if anything, are a ladies' man, so you wouldn't understand.
No, what are you saying?
That's true, you're good looking, Muraki-san.
That's right...
my face looks awful without make-up on.
What's with this?
Please try those.
You, too, Muraki-san.
What about them?
Oh, just try them, whichever you want.
What do you think?
You rarely get to eat these,
they're yummy.
Right!? They're from this terrorist's bakery.
Let's look for his Scary Face Grand Prix, okay?
I don't know if there's really something like that, but
I want to find it for him.
Hello, it's me.
I'll head out for a bit, too.
If possible, could you let me speak to Tachibana?
I'll wait.
Yeah, I know about the Scary Face Grand Prix.
Really?
Yeah, since I applied for it once.
Two years ago.
And?
You also want to compete?
No, it's not me.
Thought so.
Cause even with my face I failed the application review.
So I didn't get to see the actual Scary Face Grand Prix.
Seems to be a national gathering of the scariest faces.
So, as expected, it's the Yakuza?
No, it doesn't seem to be like this.
You found it?
Yes.
My connections also ran dry about it, but
Muraki's dedicated research brought some results.
Thank you so much.
Well?
The Scary Face Grand Prix
is an event that's secretly organized by some security firm
in order to scout new staff.
The reason for staying underground with this is
that the contestants' past profiles are better kept under wraps.
The former contestants were ex-convicts, former, expelled Yakuza,
retired pro-wrestlers, outlaws of all sorts.
It seems the effect of their faces alone makes up for several common security men.
What's more,
The next Scary Face Grand Prix will be held next Saturday late at night
It will take place in the strip-show theatre in Asakusa.
The deadline for entrants
ends today.
Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you very much for waiting.
Let's start the Scary Face Grand Prix 2014.
Thank you very much.
Furthermore, in order to protect the contestants' privacy,
we will not disclose their real names nor their profiles.
I think the audience will be entertained to the fullest with just their scary faces.
Without further ado,
please enjoy
the nation's scariest faces.
Enter contestant number one:
A Yakuza.
Bravo.
Entry number one.
Showing his true face, straight out of "Graveyard of Honor". (TN: Japanese gangster film)
A display of a big bloodbath of a fight.
With the two characters of honor deeply engraved on his forehead. (TN: 仁義 ='humanity and justice', also rules a Yakuza is supposed to follow)
He's quite intense, huh?
Oi, you shithead!
So cool!
Entry number two.
Said to have a thousand faces.
Sumo is Number One!
And now, our last contestant, entry number ten:
He's coming, huh?
Do your best!
The terrorist.
Scary, that's too scary...
Our final contestant enters accompanied by an eerie tune.
This force surely is facial terrorism.
Under his bloodcurling expression the venue has gone silent.
He's doing great.
Wow.
Now, let's hear the jury's verdict.
The Scary Face Grand Prix 2014
Today's scariest face, that made our audience tremble in fear is
Entry number ten!
- Congratulations! - Hurray!
Congratulations.
That's right, it's you. Congratulations.
Instead of telling us how you're feeling now,
please show our audience
the scariest face of the evening once again.
Please go ahead. Congratulations!
Everyone, big applause.
Congrats.
No, you must keep your scary face.
Here.
Well, this was really worth seeing.
All of them had impressive faces.
Boss, wanna have a go yourself next year round?
Huh? Should I consider it?
I'll be your manager.
How about some white make-up all over?
Like Ankoku Butoh? It would suit you. (TN: A form of contemporary performance dance which uses white whole body make-up)
An old friend of mine used to practice it.
But this guy,
do you really think he'll close his bakery?
Well...
He'll be fine.
It was he himself who was most scared of his face.
You see, men, no matter how ugly they might be,
once they turn defiant and accept their faces,
they'll become charming to everyone.
That's true I guess.
And since I gave him another present apart from the kiss.
The next batch will be out of the oven soon,
please wait a little while longer.
Sorry, uncle is a bit busy now.
Thank you very much.
Everybody, the cream-filled rolls are also today's recommendation.
Thank you very much.
'Muraki' ODAGIRI JOE
'Director' ISHIBASHI RENJI
'Megumi' KOIZUMI MAYA
'Bread shop owner' RYU SUWARU
'Bouncer' - MORISATO ICHIDAI 'Emcee' - KAY GRANT
'Moms': ICHIKAWA KAYOKO / KONNO YUKA / SASAKI MIE
Original Work: "River's Edge, Okawabata Tantei-sha" Author: Hijikita Yuho / Art: Tanaka Akio ("Shukan Manga Goraku" serialized by Nihonbungeisha)
Opening Theme: "Neon Sign Stomp" Ending Theme: "Sunnyside Melody" Performer: EGO-WRAPPIN' / Music: MORI MASAKI
Assistant directors: KOTOKU KOJI / IWABUCHI TAKASHI NINOMIYA KOHEI / WAKABAYASHI SHOHEI
Editing / Title Back: OZEKI YASUYUKI Stylist: IGA DAISUKE
Investigation Cooperation: GALU Detective School Technical Cooperation: UPSIDE
Shooting cooperation: TAITO Film Commission
Production: TV TOKYO / OFFICE CRESCENDO
Producers: KOMATSU YUKITOSHI / TANABE HAYATO / SUZUKI KANAKO
Subtitles by arakira @d-addicts
QC / Styling: earthcolors
Special thanks to: micehell / furransu
Director / Writer: ONE HITOSHI
A 2014 production of: TV Tokyo
Next on File .06: "The Cheer Up Lunch Box"